Sigh of relief? Tapos na ang production namin, tapos na ang Hyman endless nights, tapos na ang unknown sa OrgChem, tapos na ang formal written report at oral report sa NatSci4, tapos na ang dance recital sa social dance...

Sigh of despair? Nangnganib pa ako sa OrgChem lec, may test pa sa CompaAna, may test pa sa NatSCi4, may 2 papers pa sa PI...

And now, I am so close from being desperate..from being depressed..

And now, my depression mode is coming back again, in a cyclical, almost predictable (but I can never predict) manner...

This is the time that I burden myself with the thoughts of failing.. in my acads.. and in general.. with my life..And I am afraid of failing..of losing..of hurting...

I am just afraid.

All because... my body is aching.. my mind is throbbing... my heart is hurting... my soul...well, i need some serious searching..

Hai... I should better stop myself from worrying too much.. but it is inevitable.. and I do not have much people to console to.. Of course, they, too, have so much troubles. Why should I burden them with mine?

I really think I am falling into this abyssmal and infinitely dark and deep pit... And, guess what? Nobody's going to catch me.. Maybe nobody knows... Maybe they just do not care...

Anyway.. I just want to share the lyrics of the song by The Fray.. "How to Save a Life"

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life...